Friday, November 7, 2008

One More

On my 10th wedding anniversary this year I received a call telling me that my daughter was now a big sister to a bouncing baby girl. My daughter is adopted and her birth parents had another child. We had decided that we were done having more children. We have two wonderful kids that I'm sure I will write about more than once. I was okay with just two kids, I thought. I have always wanted two, a boy and a girl and I got what I wanted. But now I was being asked if I wanted another. I was shocked and excited and a little scared. My husband had just gotten back from Kuwait two days before and he was back home in Arizona and would be meeting up with me and the kids in Florida the next day. I thought okay I will call him and tell him the news and that will give him some time to think on it. I really wanted him to say yes but I was pretty sure he was not going to. He took the news calmly as far as I could tell, but his initial reaction was no and so was his final say.

I tried going over the decision from all angles. My daughter would have a sister to grow up with and as far as I can see there is nothing like the bond that develops between sisters. It was a little scary imagining the trials that I would have to go through with two girls only 21 months apart in age but I thought It would be so worth it. I thought I could quit my job and stay home with them, my daughter has been in preschool starting at the beginning of summer because I work mornings and my husband was over seas. I did not really want her to be in preschool so young. I wanted to keep her home with me at least as long as I had kept my son home. I also thought there will be one more to deal with the terrible twos and the girly attitude that seems to come with all females. But I love kids and whats one more right? One more to love and watch discover the world. One more to get to rock to sleep and midnight feedings. One more ... I wanted one more!

My husband on the other hand is very adamant that two is enough. I hear him! I understand but that tug is so hard to resist. That feeling like there is another part of my daughter out there and in a sense another part of me. This part is being taken care of by someone else I don't know. I have been over and over the good and the bad in my head but my heart only tells me one thing, run go get her now!

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